I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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