Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
