I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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