Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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