I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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