his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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