I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
