I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
