I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
