Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
