if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
