also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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