wrigley field is MILF paradise
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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