so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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