hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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