Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
