wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
