I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
