lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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