just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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