"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
they're like a gay fantastic four
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
