the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
