I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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