He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
