Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize