Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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