found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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