He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
