in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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