i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
