apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So squirting runs in the family.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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