no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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