Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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