just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
