nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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