p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize