i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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