I wannas sexs uuuuu
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize