okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
