Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
