Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
