Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
