in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
