My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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