Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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