I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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