ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize