Plan B is the new Plan A
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
