we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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