I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
