Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
