I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
