Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE