Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.