ADVERTISEMENT

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!

  Fav 37 1079 3930

  share tweet
  

• (650): View more from California

  dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning

  (805): View more from California

  1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.

  Fav 31 5043 1131

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (319): View more from Iowa

  he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.

  Fav 53 1265 4744

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock

  Fav 9 6849 1343

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.

  Fav 9 5361 975

  share tweet
  

• (573): View more from Missouri

  You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.

  Fav 7 4425 1201

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.

  Fav 9 2190 1089

  share tweet
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol

  Fav 10 1975 1271

  share tweet
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip

  Fav 0 955 518

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Worst Confessions on a First Date

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (573): View more from Missouri

  I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..

  Fav 2 1043 613

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.

  Fav 10 1444 687

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (519): View more from Ontario

  I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.

  Fav 1 764 360

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.

  Fav 3 358 426

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight

  Fav 6 108 68

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house

  Fav 0 16 39

  share tweet
  

Randomize