Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house