I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
That's what I'm talking about
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today