no, he came in my armpit
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
so he's a sleeptalker.
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?