no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i believe in u and ur pee