oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo