i just google imaged poop.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Randomize
