And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
