this just has baby written all over it
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
