Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
In America we eat man semen.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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