wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
