Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
