I should be sponsored by Trojan
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
