Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
