Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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