fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
