the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
